Well, well, well. What have we been up to? Excellent question. As of Saturday night we are back on the northern side of the earth for the first time since early March, though just barely. Hemisphere notwithstanding, we continue our streak of islands: from New Zealand, to Bali, to Phuket. Unfortunately, part of our trip will be on the mainland before we head to England; we could have had six months of island living and driving on the left! But it is not to be.

I digress.

So, from across the Isles of the Indo-Pacific, here is our collection of oddities, observations, and updates.

Western Edge of the Pacific: New Zealand in Retrospect

With the benefit of time and distance, we have prepared a few observations of New Zealand. Firstly, New Zealand is the homeschooled child of the Commonwealth. Everything is slightly….off. Not in a malicious way. Just a weird way. Like a homeschooler. A few of the oddities:

• A Coca-cola branding campaign that included this:

• Picking up a rental car from a pub
• Walking maps and signage generally omit the helpful marker ‘you are here,’ and many of them are not North-oriented. The most infamous example was an East-oriented map, with no marker of where you were and no, East was not in front of you. It was devilish firstly, and bamboozling in the extreme secondly.

But once again – nothing malicious or unfriendly. Just strange, in that semi-feral child sort of way us retired homsechoolers remember all too well.

To be fair, we stayed in New Zealand a hair too long. Two months would have been completely sufficient for both islands, or a year or two to really settle in and start a life there. Three months was both too short and too long. We’ve carried this lesson forward in our truancy of a life. However! Our final bit of time in New Zealand did have a bit of fun. Firstly, we rented a car to take a hike to some waterfalls outside Auckland. We’d been in the city way too long at that point. We headed out west toward Fairy Falls. It was a beautiful drive through the greenery, and then a steep hike down for this:

After, we headed down toward Piha Beach for KiteKite falls (pronounced Kitty-Kitty, not KiteKite…because. – Ed.) I should mention: this was a rare beautiful day after the onset of winter. It was warm, sunny; perfect. After a pleasant hike through the bush, we arrived:

Finally, we made it down to Piha Beach for a final gaze across the Tasman Sea into the endless west.

A few days later, at long last, we saw Kai at the fiddler for a final time. We stayed out a little later than we needed to, finished off a final postcard, shed a few tears, and got all packed up. Finally, after three months and for the first time in our long pilgrimage, we were moving on.

Westward Ho! – Or, The Sun Never Sets on Our Flight Plans

In Bali we had the good fortune to stay with an old friend of Christa’s, who put us up and was extraordinarily generous to us. We caught them at the end of their trip, but she let us stay in her villa until we left. First things first: aesthetics. From my understanding, and from what I was told, all of their stone carvings are still made by hand, and you have some gems like this:

And they’re everywhere! Temples abound: every family compound, every village, town, even small altars at sharp bends in the road and rice fields. I hadn’t honestly thought of Indonesia before, until Christa mentioned it. I’m really glad we visited – I got to learn some more history and my classic strategy of only learning 10 words in every language (Gotta Catch ‘Em All!).

A highlight came toward the end of the trip, when we headed up toward Gunung Kawi, known for its ancient monuments carved into the rock, and for the rice paddies surrounding:

It was a welcome change of pace for both of us – we’re already planning a trip back to get around the island more and do some hiking, and I’ve got my eyes on the other islands of the Lesser Sunda.

On a side note, a popular item at the market and every shop was a carved wooden penis of varying sizes, from ‘it’s chilly in here’ to ‘that’s a human femur.’ Attached to this, at the base of the shaft, was a bottle opener. You must forgive me for not having a photograph. But it does allow me to offer an observation of sociological importance, which I’ve already shared with Christa. By retaining the penis (in varying sizes, remember) and attaching to it something with which to open difficult things; and removing everything else that might remain of the man especially the part which talks, the Indonesians appear to have discovered what it is women want.

We almost got loads of them so we could give one to everyone as a souvenir. Like a Freudian Oprah.

Midway: Phuket

After a delayed flight and a thunderstorm in the air, we landed in Phuket Airport and immediately had another hour of taxiing until we got in, three hours past schedule, to our current abode. The next day, with the sun up, we embarked on one of our death marches to get our bearings. A few observations: firstly, so many 7-11’s. Everywhere you go, there they are. Secondly: so many weed shops. It really puts Oregon to shame. I saw three in the span of five buildings on one street. Truly remarkable. Thirdly: we’ve arrived in the wet season, which we haven’t yet experienced. But the beaches are more dangerous now. Beautiful, of course, but there’s a really nasty rip current which we got to experience just sticking our feet in – it feels like a rope around your legs even at ankle level. People drown every year. They put red flags out. But people still get in. Final observation: Phuket has a large Russian expat population, and it pops up everywhere, with signs and menus all carrying a Cyrillic stamp to them. As I write this, I’m by Chekov’s Bakery. I don’t think it’s actually him. Here’s a shot of a coffee shop:

Coming up: The Return of the Diatribe (As soon as one of us starts feeling cantakerous again), and a heralded return to form by the other editor as soon as I remind her of her marital duties (to write blog posts…).